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Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues

Words and Music: © 2004 by Tom Smith
This was written, basically, because my glasses broke (at a time of, shall we say, chancy finances) during NPR Pledge Week. Seemed a good idea to emulate.

Sittin' at the computer,
With no warning at all,
When off of my face
My glasses did fall,
Left hinge had done broken,
The right side sagged,
The stupid things just couldn't wait
Till after I got fragged

These old glasses were a lemon,
But I can't afford to get some new,
So I'm raising cash to fix 'em, with these
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues

Got a tube of Crazy Glue,
You know what happened next,
Glued myself into poses
Leave a yoga master vexed.
Hopped down two of three staircases,
Shouted loud as I can,
The neighbor kids thought it was Halloween,
And I was Plastic Man!

Be embarrassed or hospitalized,
Hell of a thing to choose,
Guess I'll make a spectacle of myself, with these
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues.

Can't find the bus stop,
Can't drive to the store,
Can't read the computer,
Oh, good! There's the floor.
Think I got some control now,
But there's still a few gripes,
Like, the Wet-Naps package colors are
The same as Clorox Wipes!

O Ye Gods and little fishes,
I'm not here for you to abuse,
Still, a little help goes a long way, with these
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues.

Teacher, please give me a C, I got those
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues.

The right headgear is a lens cap for those
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues.

But please don't offer to "chip in" for those
Blind Lemon Pledge Drive Blues.

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