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Falling Down Upon The Queen

Words: © 1994 by Tom Smith
Music: "Rolling Down To Old Maui" (trad.)
The late James Miller, or "Fan Man" to his friends, made boxing history November 6, 1993, by parasailing into a boxing ring which was only supposed to have Evander Holyfield and Riddick Bowe. The following April, I was at VIbraphone, the sixth British filk convention, and the Saturday morning news was all about some clown who'd parasailed onto Buckingham Palace. Unclothed. Genitalia painted a vibrant green. Same guy. I had the song written before lunch, sang it that afternoon, and flabbergasted those wonderful Brits, who'd gotten a whiff of my rep but never seen me in action.

It's a damn tough life for the old Duke's wife
As the days blur into years.
For she has to deal with the commonweal
And the perverts, freaks and queers.

Now I'll tell a tale that The Daily Mail
Will bury on page nineteen,
How a naked male on a parasail
Nearly landed on the Queen.

Falling down upon the Queen, me boys,
Falling down upon the Queen,
There's a naked goof on the palace roof,
Falling down upon the Queen.

It was late one night at a title fight
When he tried this awesome feat.
But the networks frowned and said, "This clown
Didn't buy a ringside seat."

He said, "I'm not hurt, I'll take off my shirt
And I'll paint my privates green,
And I'll once again be on CNN
When I've landed on the Queen."


Well, he took a spin in the northwest wind
As he buzzed old London town.
His fun and games took him over the Thames
Like a vulture circling 'round.

He brushed his feet on Downing Street,
Then, Icarus-like, he rose,
On Buckingham's shingles he dropped his wing,
And then dropped all of his clothes.


Now it may raise ire, but I must inquire,
Though impertinent it sounds:
Isn't it obscene to protect the Queen
It costs twenty million pounds?

For that kind of bucks I could fill ten trucks
With twice-defrocked Marines,
Or get Pope John Paul to repel them all --
As they say, "God Save the Queen."


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