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Lumberin' Bunny

Words and music: © 2008 by Tom Smith
Any explanation of this is gonna sound insane, so I might as well go with the truth. My stuffed bear talks. You knew that, right? Those of you who've met Da Bear at cons know he's rather eloquent, and in fact difficult to shut up. So, one morning, I get out of bed, 'cause I've gotta pee, and I'm movin' quick like a bunny, and my goddamn stuffed bear says, "I've never seen a bunny lumber before." And that's how this song came to be.

Bunny come lumberin' out the trees,
Eatin' up everything Bunny sees,
Grass and carrots, quick as you please,
Slathered in mayo and cheddar cheese.

Lumberin' Bunny ain't like the other buns,
Lumberin' Bunny weighs seven tons
Lumberin' Bunny, he loves to eat,
But he can't see his own lucky rabbit's feet.

Bunny love to nibble when he gets the chance,
But show him bunny kibble, he looks askance,
Give Bunny pizza, he starts to dance,
Every two weeks Bunny buys new pants.

Lumberin' Bunny, quiet as a quake,
Lumberin' Bunny, the meadow starts to shake,
Lumberin' Bunny watches right and left
But he's happiest watching Iron Cheft.

Never ate a salad or a sandwich,
Not when there was barbecue around,
As he emptied out his larder, didn't notice how much harder
It was to get off the ground.

Bunny finally got so big
The spider next door made a web: "SOME PIG"
So Bunny finally changed his tune,
And works out with Richard Simmons every afternoon.

Exercisin' Bunny, movin' with the groove,
Weight-watchin' Bunny, watch his health improve,
Jazzercizin' Bunny, doing everything right --
But he still gets a pizza every Friday night.

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