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The Most Trusted Man In Nigeria

Words and Music © 2008 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License
Ahhh, money laundering is so much easier with Formula 419. But, even at this late date, some people Just Don't Get It.

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
In me they have no doubt,
For every day e-mail from Nigeria
Asks me to help out.
They have a lot of cash in Nigeria
They're trying to get out
And all these wealthy folks in Nigeria
Think I have the clout

To bribe the
Border guards and customs men
And meet them where they went
To get the cash out from its stash,
And I'll get forty percent.

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
I will not let them down,
They only want my bank account
To get the
Money out of town.

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
And so I get no rest.
I'm not sure how my friends in Nigeria
Got my home address.
But lots of rich folks die in Nigeria
Without a son or daughter,
No wonder they want out of Nigeria --
It's something in the water.

And they
Speak with faith and gratitude,
They're frightened and distraught,
They say that I'm their only hope --
They're worse off than I thought.

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
Sudan, and Namibia, too.
The Continent of Africa
Trusts me, so why don't you?

All these wealthy people who
Have sacrificed so much,
But have nobody else with whom
They'd rather keep in touch,
They say that I'm their go-to guy,
Cool-headed, brave, and smart,
Those qualities not seen by my
Co-workers at Wal*Mart.

And so I'm helping friends in Nigeria
Send out their cash in crates.
They sure do have tough laws in Nigeria,
And sky-high FedEx rates.
I only hope one day in Nigeria
The good times will come 'round,
But meanwhile I'm right here for Nigeria,
I will not let them down!

Last night I
Counted up just how much all these
Cash transfers are worth,
Nine times the money that exists
In all the banks on Earth.

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
And now I hope you see,
The world economy is at stake,
It all depends on me!

I am the most trusted man in Nigeria,
And I will never fail,
So if you've got some cash in Nigeria,
Send... me... some... e... mail!

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