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The Passavoys' Picnic

Words: © 2000 by Tom Smith
Music: "The Teddy Bears' Picnic" by Jimmy Kennedy
WorldCon 2000 featured a lovely idea: a big ol' music party hosted by Fan GOHs Bob and Anne Passavoy, featuring some of their best friends and favorite musicians, and I was quite flattered to be asked to attend. However, when we got there, there was also a stupid amount of sound and recording hardware. And when I say stupid, I sincerely mean that there were too many microphone stands, cables, speakers, and mixing boards to allow an easy escape route in case of a fire. After about an hour of tiptoeing around this expensive minefield, the walls rattling with the occasional thunderous feedback loop, and the techs interrupting what was supposed to be a party to get good mike positioning and recording levels, I was ready to blow out some amps. Instead, I wrote this.

If you go down to the Con today,
You'd better rethink your plans.
There are no trees, no, all you'll see
Are speakers and wires and stands.
There's microphones to capture the tones,
But soon their hardware all will be blown,
Today's the day the Passavoys have
Their filk... sing.

Surrounding everyone on the floor --
The Passavoys, friends and fans --
Enough equipment to start a war...
That is, in the proper hands.
There's lots of cables and pipe and power,
Oh, look! Moonwolf has built a siege tower,
Today's the day the Passavoys have
Their filk... sing.

Filking time for Passavoys,
The Fan GOH Passavoys are hosting a lovely sing today,
Watch them playing with their toys,
And all the girls and boys have come here to watch them play.

All this damn recording gear
Is getting in our way here, and causing us all to groan,
But give us twenty minutes and we'll make it disappear,
Every mixing board and microphone.

If you are going to see the Con,
Check Regency Ballroom "C".
You'll find a sculpture they're working on,
Real kewl machinery.
Some things out there, you maybe should share,
But some are better only when there --
What can compare to Passavoys and
Their filk... sing?

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