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Words: © 1991 by Tom Smith
Music: "Barbara Allen" (English. trad.)
This was just a quick knockoff for a songwriting contest at the first ConText in 1991. It was a literary-based con, and a literary-based contest, and Scarlett (the ostensible sequel to Gone With The Wind) was getting lots of press at the time, even though I don't believe it had been released or even finished yet. I can't even remember how this song did in the contest, but it had such lovely puns I couldn't let it go, and I always try to sing it the way Porky Pig (voiced by Mel Blanc) sang the original in Robin Hood Daffy. Two notes: "Swayve", in Line Ten, is in fact pronounced "swayve", not "suave". If I'd wanted "suave", I'd have written "suave". "Swayve" is funnier. Also, the first line of Verse Four does indeed rhyme internally, just like all the others -- so internally that you can't see it.

In Scarlett's town, that's Georgia bound,
A fair maid dwelled there-ah,
Made every lad cry well-a-day,
And her last name was O'Hara.

She had a manse, a grand expanse,
Went by the name of Tara,
And meant to play her life away
At the game of being O'Hara.

But then a lad, so smooth, so bad,
So swayve and debonair-ah,
He came to stay and have his way,
Which he did, with Miss O'Hara.

Miss Scarlett pitched an awful fit,
But did not feel much better.
Still, we've all heard her every word,
For she wrote a Scarlett letter.

Then Rhett, he left our girl bereft
And feeling less than equal,
But Rhett, the ham, must give a damn,
He's come back for the sequel.

And now we'll start the second part,
In hopes it will be subtler,
But as before, we know the score --
Who did the deed? The Butler.

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