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(to the tune of "Annie's Song" by John Denver)

You beat up my sensei,
So I have to avenge him,
You dishonored my temple,
My clan and my kin.

You messed with my sister,
You dissed her, you kissed her,
You'd fill me with anger,
Except I am Shaolin.

Come get some, sucker,
Let me take your life from you,
Let me teach of nonviolence
With a boot to the head.

I'll be calm and collected
As, by me, you're dissected,
Hear me preach inner quiet,
Oh, you can't, 'cause you're dead.

Every movie is just like
All the movies before it,
And we stack up the bodies
Like piles of wood.

Let me lay down my teachings...
Let's commence with the beatings,
You beat up my sensei,
Come kill me if you can.

(To the tune of "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off" by George & Ira Gershwin)

You say "Carmina", and I say "Burana",
You say "Fortuna", and I say "cantata",
Carmina, Burana, Fortuna, cantata,
Let's Carl the whole thing Orff....

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