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Still A Nerd

Words: © 2008 by Tom Smith
Music: "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton
It's all Rob Balder's fault, really. His Jonathan Coulton parody "Still Annoyed" made my brain form the phrase "Still A Nerd". That's pretty much it. Except that JoCo liked the lyrics when I sent them to him. Many thanks, big guy.

I have six bowties.
None of my pants cuffs reach my shoes,
And I sort my underwear by thread count.

Majored in physics,
Minored in getting beaten up.
Wore a kick-me sign until
I had that jacket dry-cleaned.

Lifting weights, I hurt myself with only three curls,
And I've never had a conversation with girls.
But I built a droid myself using parts from off the shelf --
You can see that I'm still a nerd.

Not that I'm bragging...
George Lucas texts me when he's stuck.
I can quote the Matrix films in Klingon.

Chess is too simple --
I'd rather frag a bunch of n00bz.
I'm a god until I have
To be in Meatspace again.

'Cause my nasal laughter makes folks think I'm a dope,
And someday I ought to get familiar with soap.
But my bosses aren't saps, 'cause their network would collapse
If I wasn't still a nerd.

Jonathan Coulton,
Maybe Weird Al, oh yeah, Tom Lehrer...
Someday I should pay them for their albums.

Downloading's easy,
Downloading comedy is hard.
I can crack this DRM,
But then I wrote it myself.

A fine meal, a sunset or such similar joys
Seem a waste of time when I've got all of my toys,
I'm an outcast socially, but I've bought your company --
It's just fine that I'm still a nerd.

Steven Hawking says I'm still a nerd.
There's no reason I should have matured.
I can hack your whole life with a word,
And you'll never know what just occurred,
So be nice to me, I'm still a nerd.
Still a nerd,
Still a nerd.

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