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Where The Heart Is

Words: © 1999 by Tom Smith
Music: "Home" by Rand Bellavia and Adam English
"Home" has many meanings, which unscrupulous parodists such as myself can abuse. Tee hee. The original -- possibly the only fun, gentle love song that mentions Robert Bly -- can be found on Ookla The Mok's first album, Less Than Art (the "K-Mart" album).

I want a base where I can go,
I want a base that you can't throw to,
I want a base where I can show you,
You ain't gonna catch me, I'm gonna steal Home.

I got to First because you walked me,
I'm gonna jump around and talk,
I'll distract you and you'll balk, I'll
Go to Second and be halfway Home.

I don't want to wander off the bag,
I don't want to give you time to make a tag,
I don't want to beat the shortstop,
Okay, I kinda wanna beat the shortstop.

Anything that you yell goes unheard,
I'm rounding Third, I'm gonna make it Home.

You're a little demon,
Stop your yellin' and your screamin',
If you think I'm gonna put up with this, you're dreamin',
Sit there on the couch and don't destroy our home.

You're not Mark McGwire,
Your base lines are Dad's bailing wire,
Don't knock that over, you're gonna start a fire,
There's gonna put us in a state-run halfway home.

And if you bawl, I guarantee
I'll call, they'll come home, see,
and haul you off to your bed,
All year, you'll be grounded.

Anything that you do, I don't care,
You'll get it, I swear, when Mom and Dad get home.

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